I'm asked quite a lot of questions by email, relating to either:
I love hearing from you all, and I try to reply to every email I receive; but sometimes it gets a bit too much. Requests require anything from a brief reply (which I'm happy to do) to spending many hours of work (which I have no intention of doing). I thought I would lay out my policies on these matters. I hope it will save all of us time and effort.
No. Frack off.
Several times a year sundry universities, foundations, and others invite me to write a paper, or a book chapter; or ask me to contribute a talk or a lecture, or attend a conference.
They invariably figure that I should be flattered and honoured for the invitation and that – therefore – I should labour for them gratis. They typically add insult to injury by giving me until next Monday to prepare the talk, or write the article, paper, or chapter.
Think again, comrades: you don't work for nothing, and neither do I.
I work in the private sector in a consultancy that has nothing to do with the intellectual efforts I contribute to this site or my earlier books and papers. I will have to take time off from my day-paying job to prepare your talk, attend your conference, or write your paper. That could be many, many hours.
You want me to do pro bono charity work for your wealthy institution? Don't think so. I prefer to give my money to real charities, assisting real people; not to wealthy fat-arse tenured academics seeking another feather in their cap.
You tell me how many hours you want me to spend on the exercise, and I'll send you a quote based on my usual rate. Payment in advance, of course.
See our page So, you want to study architecture?.
I don't work for an architecture school.
Absolutely. Click the Garry's Games button, or go to Dr Garry's games page to find out how to contact me.
I get this all the time. My Tudor family boardgames have proved very popular, but as a result it seems that kiddies throughout the world reckon I am an expert in Tudor history. I don't mind queries from people who expect only a brief answer, but most emails, unfortunately, have this tenor (true email!)
“Send me information about King Henry. If you don't, I won't like it.”
Yeah, right. Do your own homework, kid: try visiting a library.